As a kid- it’s easy. You seem to shoot up overnight, and the marks on the wall in your childhood home speak the testimony of how much you’ve grown over the year. It’s easy to compare, as your sister still looms a few inches over you. “One day, I’ll be that tall,” you think. (In… Continue reading september: how we measure growth

I’ve lived most of my life believing that the world is binary, that things are either this OR that. That things are heavy or light. Happy or sad. Broken or whole. Qualified or unqualified. Heartbroken or full of joy. Loved or unloved. Wanted or unwanted. Needy or independent. I admit: I love compartmentalizing my life.… Continue reading august: heavy & light

It is still hard for me to write openly about my (ongoing) struggle with depression and anxiety. I want to write about it as if it is a past experience, or something that happens to other people. I want it to be a redemptive story, a story of hope and resolution. But more than anything,… Continue reading April: f*ck stigma

March was cherry blossoms and misty rain. It was Sunday-fundays spent cleaning out the fridge and vacuuming the floor. It was all of the coffee and all of the hope and all of the fighting for healing– both for me and for others. A bunch of my favorite people now live within a one mile… Continue reading march: the loudest “i love you”s

{I wrote the following as a note to myself on a hard day; it is a reminder for when I start to be my own worst critic. If you ever find that you are being unkind to you, I urge you to write one of your own. At the end of the day, please remember… Continue reading february: you are not your bad days

On the first, I felt paralyzed by fear. It’s the calm before the storm– that moment you know you’re going to be sad for quite some time but it hasn’t sunk in yet. It’s the moment right before irreparable damage is done. One breath in, one breath out. It’s not going to be that bad,… Continue reading january

This year has looked a lot like fits and starts: ups and downs, bravery and courage followed by moments where I let fear win (and win pretty big). It’s looked like standing on a mountain top one moment and greiving in the valley the next. If you’ve been there, I know you know how exhausting… Continue reading the snap of a finger

Hey lovely friends! I know everyone was really just waiting in anticipation for another emotional rant about vulnerability and how much I hate change, but you’re out of luck. 😉 I DID want to let you guys know about some really exciting things that are going on though! Tomorrow is December 1st. Advent has already started!… Continue reading Advent Conspiracy & The Petition for Presence

panic. irrational panic. nothing is okay. i am not okay. i do not want to be here. i do not want to do this anymore. i can’t cry in public. i cannot lose my shit in public, around all of these people, around these strangers. I just want to get home. And cry. and sleep.… Continue reading to sit in darkness

This last month has been a whirlwind of chaos and emotions for me and a lot of other people I know. It’s been a season of transition, with the remodel at work, moving out of my old place, balancing midterms, applying for a Social Work program, yada yada. I’m not really good at transition seasons.… Continue reading on striving, resting, & identity