April 15, 2013
Two weeks ago, my parents and grandparents shared that they were concerned about me taking this trip by myself. My mother asked if I had read the recent U.S. Travel Warnings for Haiti and if I knew that Port-au-Prince airport was one of the most dangerous airports to fly into for U.S. citizens right now. (Yes, & yes). In response to their concern, however, I promised I would seek God and ask Him for renewed direction and peace. As I prayed and sought advice and prayer from friends, the Lord overwhelmed me with peace and confirmation.
My own personal peace wasn’t enough to placate my family at first, and all I knew to do was to ask God to give THEM peace. In a long phone conversation with my mother, I simply told her: “I know I’m not going there to die a physical death. I’m not afraid of being kidnapped or raped. You know what I’m afraid of? I’m afraid of mosquitos and setting up a tent and pooping in a hole.” I am certain that this trip isn’t about me saving the lives of orphans, or being a martyr for my faith; this trip is about me dying a spiritual death- and I find that makes me much more afraid.
Within three days, God showed both my mother and grandmother (at separate times) signs that He would protect me. The Lord reminded my mother of Luke 12: 4-7, a passage that means a great deal to me personally:
“I say to you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that have no more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear the One who, after He has killed, has authority to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear Him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.”
My car broke down two days later, and I spent $263 to fix it. (That discounted amount within itself is a miracle. You guys, I was SO discouraged. When I quit the restaurant in January, God promised me that He would provide the absurd amount of money that I need for both this trip and for my move to Portland. At this point, I was already lacking money, but it felt possible to save the rest over the next month. But being out another $300? So much crying happened. And praying. And “God, why do You provide and take it away?”
I jumped at the opportunity to pick up serving shifts and took a babysitting job on my three day weekend. Driving home on Saturday night, i calculated exactly how much money I had earned back: $263! EXACTLY! To the dollar. God is so gracious.
Thank you for reading, and for your continued prayers. I love you all.